Denial ain't just a river...

A few years into my recovery, I applied for a Reserve Officer position with the local police department.  As a part of this process, one of the detectives performed an extensive background check in order to determine if I was a suitable candidate. 

During the interview that followed, I sat in front of the Reserve Captain's desk as he skimmed my file.  "Have you ever drank alcohol excessively?"

"Not anymore," I replied, wanting to be as honest as possible. "I've been sober for over four years now."

The Captain promptly closed my file, “I'm sorry, we can’t admit your application if you're a recovering alcoholic.”

I shifted in my seat, confused. “Really? Why not?”

“You could relapse and become an active alcoholic tomorrow.”

“Yes," I replied. "And you could pick up the bottle and become an active alcoholic tomorrow." 

No response.  Nothing. 

"Let me ask you something," I continued. "Would you refuse a cancer survivor a position on the outside chance that he may fall out of remission tomorrow?”

He leaned back and folded his arms across his chest, “It’s not the same thing.  A cancer survivor doesn’t choose to have cancer.”

Ah, a challenge!  I promptly picked up the gauntlet thrown before me, “Do you think I chose to be an alcoholic?  I have a disease and I'm in remission.  Same thing.” En garde!

 

He lunged, “If you had to testify in a criminal hearing, the defense would drag up your past and use it to show that you were unreliable.”

I parried, “Do you mean they would show the jury I haven’t had a drink in four years, whereby refuting the possibility of impaired judgement?”

“No," he snapped. "They would say that you've had poor judgment in the past which would reflect on your judgment in the present.”

“Look, we’re all guilty of making bad decisions at one point or another." I leaned in, "How do your other officers deal with it in court?”

The Captain seemed genuinely puzzled, “What do you mean?”

“The other officers on the force who are alcoholics.”

He paused for a moment, formulating an answer, “We don’t have any alcoholics on the force.”

That's it?  That weak passé was his answer??  Oh, no...  “I guarantee that a sizable percentage of your officers are either in recovery or in the midst of their disease.  So, what you meant to say was you don’t have any alcoholics on the force THAT YOU KNOW OF.”

“Not to my knowledge.”

“Aha!”  I exclaimed, drawing him into corps-á-corps.  “Then denial is the key.  I should have denied my disease.” 

“No. It would have come out in the polygraph.”

“Then the best thing for me to do is abandon my recovery and go out and start drinking again.”(feint and thrust)

“What would that accomplish?”

“According to your logic, if I don’t acknowledge I have a problem, you won’t acknowledge I have a problem." I arose and stepped toward the door, "Now I see why our police department is operating at such a high efficiency rate.” Touché.

And with that, the interview was over.