Push to Failure

“It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.”                              -Epictetus

To put it another way, "We can't control what happens, but we can control our response."

We've all had dreams. Whether it was to be an astronaut, the president of the US, or first baseman of the NY Yankees. Or maybe it was a more attainable dream; perhaps to go to a particular college, become a doctor, or raise a family.

Did you achieve those dreams? Did your addiction get in the way? Did you fail to fulfill them?

Good news! Dreams are not defeated through failure, only by failing to try in the first place. 

So many people push themselves up to the point of failure, then quit for fear of failing. They don't understand that failure is good! Identifying the point of failure is the only way to avoid it -- It's a key component to success and growth. 

In weight lifting, there's a concept known as "pushing to failure." The idea is that you keep stacking more and more weights on the bar until you physically cannot lift the bar. Essentially, your muscles "fail" at the given task. 

At this point, an amazing thing happens... your muscles say, "Hey, this is too heavy. We can't lift it!' To which your brain responds, "Then we need to do something about that!" and signals your muscles to grab more protein from your blood stream to build themselves up in order to lift that weight.

So, those big body-builders you see down at muscle beach... they got that way by repeated failure!

Then there's the naysayers and gatekeepers; people who love to wallow in mediocrity. The only thing they fear more than change is the possibility of failure. As such, they wage war against anything or anyone who attempts to succeed, because success arrives hand-in-hand with the thing they fear most -- failure. Your dream threatens to rock the boat and highlight their mediocrity, therefore it must be destroyed. 

They will set themselves up as gatekeepers, blocking you from moving forward.

Many times, they will succeed... and that's okay. 

Years ago, I worked as a youth pastor for a flailing church in Southern California. The head pastor decided we should run a summer day-camp program and asked me to organize it. "Of course," he explained, "we have to clear it with headquarters, first."

This particular "headquarters" was no different than any other governing body, as it was mired in protocol and politics. The hope of getting anything accomplished in an expedient time-frame was wishful thinking, at best. As expected, our "approval" came at the 11th hour... far too late to launch a successful summer program (most parents had scheduled their child's summer activities MONTHS prior).

The program was a DISMAL failure, an utter embarrassment. Since I was responsible for launching the program, all fingers pointed at me. When I pushed back on HQ regarding the impossible timeline due to their tardy approval, their response was, "You shouldn't have waited for approval, you should have just done it!"

Anyone who has worked in a bureaucracy knows first-hand the folly behind that bit of advice. Had I moved without approval, I would have been in trouble. If I didn't, the program would fail. It was a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation, if ever there was one.

I wanted to blame someone. I wanted people to know it was the gate keepers, not me, who foiled the plan. I had everything lined up, ready to go... it was their incompetence that caused the program to fail, not mine!

Eventually, I realized that it was my fault in the end. The success or failure of the program laid with me alone. What's the worst that would have happened had I moved forward without permission? A slap on the wrist, at most. As my father always says, "Success covers a multitude of sins." 

It was my failure for relying on visionless people to comprehend and support my dream.  

In sobriety, we will have naysayers and gatekeepers. Our sobriety will require change, which will threaten some of those around us. They will resist the idea and want us to fail. They will slow us down and throw up roadblocks. They will erect temptation and lay obstacles in our path. If we succumb, they will point at us and say, "See, we told you, you would fail! Why do you even bother trying?"

We can't rely on their support to stay sober. We have to do it ourselves. 

And even if we fail, all is not lost... just pick a new date and try again. Failure is not a death sentence. Failing to try is a death sentence. Literally.

That said, if you once had a dream of becoming the President, it's never to late to try... after all, the current Commander-and-Chief is in his 80's!