God, Grant Me...

The day I turned 16, I went straight to the Motor Vehicle office to get my driver's license.

I was an adult... a grown up... free at last!

One problem: No wheels.

I couldn't afford to buy a car, so my dad made me a deal: He would help me buy a car, but only half a car. I would have to pay for the rest. He agreed to meet me halfway. 

Could he afford to buy me the whole car? Sure. But he was wise enough to know that if I had to work for it, I would cherish that car and take good care of it. 

He was right. I drove that Suzuki Samurai into the ground (literally until the engine fell out).

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Early in my recovery, while doing my inventory, I discovered "patience" was a fairly severe character defect of mine. That is to say, I had none.

I prayed, "God, please grant me patience in my life." I gritted my teeth while voicing the prayer; not because of insincerity, but because I knew God doesn't "grant" patience... He teaches it.

And boy did he: A torrent of morons.

Alas, nothing was sent I couldn't handle.

Could God have "granted" me patience? Sure. But He's wise enough to know that if I had to work for it, I would cherish my newfound progress and nurture it.

So, whenever I hear someone say, "God lifted the obsession from me..." I roll my eyes. Not because I don't believe them, but because that's not my story. I simply cannot relate.

If God had lifted my obsession, without me having to do the work, I most certainly would not have cherished and nurtured my sobriety. 

Such a gift, though lovely, would have guaranteed relapse.