The Key to Happiness

"The true test of a man's character is what he does when no one is watching." -John Wooden

By nature, human beings are social animals. 

In order to be happy, we require the love of others. We receive love by giving love. However, giving love to others becomes impossible if you lack the capacity to love yourself... and very few possess the gift of "Self-Love."

Aristotle preached that moral virtue could be developed through practice and repetition, like a muscle. I couldn't agree more. The same applies in reverse:

• $1 falls out of the collection plate and I put it in my pocket instead of back in the plate. I've committed a very small immoral infraction. No one will know but me -- so what's the problem? 

Each immoral thing I do, no matter how small, comes with a price. I've gained $1 but in the exchange have lost a tiny, immeasurable fraction of self respect. It's only one inch lost, no biggie. I won't notice. 

• I'm walking my dog late at night, he poops on someone's lawn. Nobody's around but me, so I leave it and walk away. Another inch lost. 
• I load all my groceries into my car. I should probably walk the empty cart over to the grocery cart depository in the middle of the parking lot, it'll only take a second... nah, I'll just let it roll away. Not my problem. Another inch lost.
• Another car tries to merge into my lane on the highway, so I speed up and refuse to let him in. Another inch lost.

Inches turn into feet, feet into yards, yards into miles... before I know it, I'm deplete of self respect and overcome with self loathing. Inch by inch, I've turned into someone I despise.

Returning to Aristotle's point: With every act of morality, no matter how small, I gain an inch of self-respect. 

• Return the money to the offering plate: An inch of self-respect gained. 
• Pick up the poop: Another inch gained. 
• Return the cart to the depository: Another inch gained. 
• Slow down and wave the other driver into my lane. Another inch gained.

Those inches build, over time, into miles of self-respect. When you respect yourself, you love yourself.  When you love yourself, you respect others -- People appreciate respect and are drawn to those who love themselves and respect others. (Added bonus: When you love/respect yourself, what others think of you tends to matter a LOT less.)

Here's the best part: I don't have to be perfect, nor do I have to be better than anybody else. I just have to be a little bit better today than I was yesterday. If I can do that, the day was a success.

With self-respect comes self-love. With self-love comes the ability to honestly love others, no strings. By loving others, we receive love in return which results in the happiness we've been seeking.

Ergo: Morality = Happiness