Step #7 - "Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings."
As with most people, it took me awhile to get around to Step #7 (in my blog). Why is that? Probably because this step requires us to admit to our helpless nature as human beings. We have to actually HUMBLE ourselves and ASK for HELP.
Personally, my biggest character defect heading into this step was my Pride. "I don't need anyones help. I can do it on my own... I am a MAN!" The simple act of stepping into a 12 step meeting for the first time went against my very nature. It was an admission that I was helpless against my disease and could not do it alone. I needed other people. Recovery required that I humble myself and reach out to another human being and ask for help; very difficult for a man of my ilk. With the arrival of Step #7, I was once again required to embrace humility and ask for help... this time from the Creator. In essence, I had to admit my weakness in order to obtain His strength.
Early on in my recovery, I had the fortune of befriending one of the bravest men I've ever met - Blind Rick. We called him that because... well ... he was blind. Rick had lost his eyesight late in his teen years after drunkenly stumbling into the path of a maniac with a shotgun. He had inadvertently stepped on this guy's lawn and paid for his error with a point-blank .00 buck blast to the face. Rick reportedly died on the operating table 4 times and woke from his coma to discover both eyes had been blown from his skull. To this day, he has no idea why that guy pulled the trigger.
A single act of insanity had forever changed Rick's life. Without his eyesight, he was left defenseless; forced to relearn a life previously reliant on survival through the visual senses. Upon his discharge from the hospital, Rick promptly began his journey down the road to rehabilitation. First stop, learning to manage simple tasks...
In order to reeducate Rick on managing basic survival skills, his therapist led him to a horse stable, instructed him to perform some simple tasks, and left him to his own devices. Rick quickly realized that these once simple tasks were nearly impossible as he stumbled around, groping in the darkness. He struggled for hours with no success, attempting again and again to complete just one of his assigned duties, every effort resulting in futility. Frustrated, angry, and exhausted, Rick collapsed on a nearby hay bale, utterly defeated. In sheer desperation, he cried out, "I can't do this! I need help!"
Much to Rick's surprise, a gentle response emerged from the darkness, "I thought you'd never ask." It was the voice of his therapist, who had been sitting with Rick the entire time, watching. "I gave you tasks..." he continued, "Tasks I knew you could not accomplish on your own."
"Then what was the point?" Rick snorted.
"A very important lesson, Rick. Sometimes it's okay to ask for help."
My friend carried that lesson for the rest of his life. Never once did I see him cower from a challenge. Why? He had mastered the art of asking for help and used the working eyes around him to replace the ones he had tragically lost so many years before. Every encounter with Rick produced a magnificent display of humility and gratitude.
I walked into the rooms of recovery, rife with defects that confined me to loneliness and spiritual darkness. God waited patiently at my side, ready to take my hand and lead me into the light. I only had but to ask.
We have to remember that our perceptions of ourselves do not make up who we are, rather, it's the perceptions of OTHERS that define us. We've spent our whole lives building defenses, survival techniques if you will, designed to defend our fragile inner ego and keep the dangerous outside world at bay. For me, these defenses consisted of attributes in the vein of impatience, pride, and anger. After working Step 6, I realized this was how others saw me. I was the cocky guy with a bad temper who everyone had to tiptoe around. This wasn't how I saw myself, but it didn't matter, it was how the REST of the world saw me. It begged the question, "Am I okay with this?" I was not. Time for a change.
Let's be clear, when we ask God to remove our defects, He does not wave a magic wand and "POOF" our defects vanish in a cloud of genie smoke! That's how He works with forgiveness, not with self-improvement. Work must be done. Think of your Character as an old, rusted out, junkyard car - it's ragged, dirty, and dangerous. Passersby cut a wide swath around it for fear of touching the disgusting thing. No one wants to come near it.
You ask God to help you restore the rust-bucket, fully expecting Him to hand you a certified check covering the cost of repairs. Instead, he hands you a manual, a grinder, and some WD-40 and tells you to get to work. Under His guidance, and after applying a good deal of elbow-grease, that rusted-out jalopy transforms into a beautiful classic. No longer do people avoid your "character mobile," on the contrary, they go out of their way to come in for a closer look, run their fingers along the paint job, and sit in the passenger seat. They appreciate and admire your work.
So it is with you. People want to like you, they want to get to know you, but it won't happen without work. The transformation of our character is a beautiful thing that takes time and effort. God will give us the tools, if we ask, but it's up to us to do the work.
Much to Rick's surprise, a gentle response emerged from the darkness, "I thought you'd never ask." It was the voice of his therapist, who had been sitting with Rick the entire time, watching. "I gave you tasks..." he continued, "Tasks I knew you could not accomplish on your own."
"Then what was the point?" Rick snorted.
"A very important lesson, Rick. Sometimes it's okay to ask for help."
My friend carried that lesson for the rest of his life. Never once did I see him cower from a challenge. Why? He had mastered the art of asking for help and used the working eyes around him to replace the ones he had tragically lost so many years before. Every encounter with Rick produced a magnificent display of humility and gratitude.
I walked into the rooms of recovery, rife with defects that confined me to loneliness and spiritual darkness. God waited patiently at my side, ready to take my hand and lead me into the light. I only had but to ask.
_________________________________________________________
We have to remember that our perceptions of ourselves do not make up who we are, rather, it's the perceptions of OTHERS that define us. We've spent our whole lives building defenses, survival techniques if you will, designed to defend our fragile inner ego and keep the dangerous outside world at bay. For me, these defenses consisted of attributes in the vein of impatience, pride, and anger. After working Step 6, I realized this was how others saw me. I was the cocky guy with a bad temper who everyone had to tiptoe around. This wasn't how I saw myself, but it didn't matter, it was how the REST of the world saw me. It begged the question, "Am I okay with this?" I was not. Time for a change.
Let's be clear, when we ask God to remove our defects, He does not wave a magic wand and "POOF" our defects vanish in a cloud of genie smoke! That's how He works with forgiveness, not with self-improvement. Work must be done. Think of your Character as an old, rusted out, junkyard car - it's ragged, dirty, and dangerous. Passersby cut a wide swath around it for fear of touching the disgusting thing. No one wants to come near it.
You ask God to help you restore the rust-bucket, fully expecting Him to hand you a certified check covering the cost of repairs. Instead, he hands you a manual, a grinder, and some WD-40 and tells you to get to work. Under His guidance, and after applying a good deal of elbow-grease, that rusted-out jalopy transforms into a beautiful classic. No longer do people avoid your "character mobile," on the contrary, they go out of their way to come in for a closer look, run their fingers along the paint job, and sit in the passenger seat. They appreciate and admire your work.
So it is with you. People want to like you, they want to get to know you, but it won't happen without work. The transformation of our character is a beautiful thing that takes time and effort. God will give us the tools, if we ask, but it's up to us to do the work.
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