Chip Chap

I just took a chip for 21 years sober.

That's a long time.

To put it into perspective, someone born on my sobriety date would now be old enough to legally drink. Hard to believe it's been that long.

I think back to my first chip... a "Welcome" chip. 

I had always been able to quit drinking for short spurts, here and there, when I wanted (or needed) to. If I felt my drinking was getting too out of hand (which was all the time), I was able to hang up the bottle and dry out for a week or month, then hop back off the wagon.

This time was different. I couldn't put the bottle down for even one night. I poured all the booze down the sink, determined to stop myself from drinking... 20 minutes later I was standing in the liquor store. I got home, chastised myself, and poured all the newly bought liquor down the drain. 20 minutes later I was standing in the liquor store. 

I repeated this process 3-4 times (the liquor store owner must have thought I was either crazy or throwing a major rager) before I finally gave in and drank. It was at this point that I knew I couldn't do it alone and needed help.

I showed up to my first meeting, a "Newcomer's Meeting," at what was to become my home group in Burbank, CA. Walking into that room and asking for help was the HARDEST thing I've ever had to do, no contest. When they asked for newcomers to stand, identify, and accept a welcome chip, I complied. Trembling, I approached the front and accepted my first chip.

That chip, my Welcome Chip, was hands-down the HARDEST chip I've ever earned.

I don't remember much about that meeting, but I do remember the 30 day chips. I know other chips and cakes were taken, but I don't remember them. The 30 day chips stood out because they were attainable. I remember watching people receive their 30 day chips and thinking, "They're no different from me... if they can do that, I can do that."  

And I did. I put 30 days together and received my second chip in sobriety: My 30 day chip.

That chip, my 30 day chip, was the SECOND hardest chip I've ever earned.

Third hardest? My 60 day chip. 

You can see where I'm going with this - they've gotten progressively easier over the years.

This week, I took a chip for 21 years of sobriety and can say, without reservation, so far it's the easiest chip I've ever earned.