Dear Sponsee

Dear Sponsee,

Before we begin this journey, there are a few things we need to get straight...

My job as your sponsor is three-fold:  1. To walk you through the steps.  2. To show you how I stayed sober.  3. To answer any questions you may have along the way.  That's it.

I'm not your parole officer and I'm not your mother.  In other words, I'm not here to keep tabs on you and make sure you're doing the work, that's up to you.  And I'm not here to coddle you and hold your hand because 'sobriety is too hard and people are mean' (waaaaah!).  This road ain't easy and nobody's going to carry you.  My job is to tell you the truth about sobriety and that's what I'll do.  If you're looking for an easier, softer way, check with your momma.  Who knows, she may be taking on new sponsees at the moment.

To what lengths are you willing to go to stay sober?  Your answer should be 'Any Lengths.'  If it's not, you're probably not done yet.    There's likely more drinking and using in your near future.  Best to head back out, get a bit more bloodied up, and come back when you're able to honestly answer that question in the affirmative.  It will NOT work otherwise.

If you don't find me compliant, if I'm not 'nice enough' for you, if I don't stand idly by and condone your faulty decisions to your satisfaction; too bad.  Find another sponsor.

If you decide to relapse, guess what?  Not my problem.  It has nothing to do with me.  Your sustained sobriety is your responsibility.  The 'blame game' bears no weight in the rooms of recovery. If you decide to fall off the wagon, that's on you, alone.

I'll let you in on a little secret... your successful sobriety is not my top priority.  MY successful sobriety is my top priority.  I want you to succeed.  But if you don't (and the odds say you won't), I'll experience a (very) brief moment of disapointment on your behalf, after which I'll go home, climb into bed, pull the covers up to my chin, and sleep like a baby.

To allow you to dictate how our relationship progresses would be a great diservice to your sobriety.  So far, your BEST decision making has landed you where you are today.  You don't know everything.  If you did, you wouldn't need me.  So take the cotton out of your ears and put it in your mouth.  Sit down, shut up, and listen.

It's time to put on your big-boy pants and get to work.

Sincerely,

Your Sponsor