If It Was Easy...

Sobriety Is Hard

Nobody ever said it would be easy.

Right now, we’re trying to put a pool in at our house. The process has been a masterclass in bureaucracy. Layers of red tape, endless permits, and enough hoops to make Hercules sweat. The city seems to thrive on creating obstacles—because every obstacle comes with a fee.

But here’s the truth: no amount of complaining is going to make the process easier. I have three choices:

1. Sit back and gripe. Nothing changes, and no pool.

2. Fight every step of the way. Nothing changes, and the process becomes 100x harder.

3. Roll up my sleeves, accept the reality, and do the work. Nothing changes, but at least I’ll get the pool in the shortest possible time.

Sobriety is no different. It’s a gauntlet—full of dangers, pitfalls, and setbacks. Nothing I do can change that reality.

So, I can complain. I can fight. I can relapse. Or, I can accept the challenge, put in the work, and move forward.

Sobriety is hard.

If it were easy, everyone would do it.

A Little Goes A Long Way

I hold a black belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu—along with advanced ranks in several other martial arts. Because of that, people often ask me the same question:

“What’s the best martial art for self-defense?”

My answer never changes:
“Any self-defense training—no matter how little—is better than none. Every time.”

Even minimal training in a less effective system still gives you something—a foundation to build from, a fighting chance.
No training? No chance.

The same holds true for recovery.

From time to time, I’ve sponsored people who are just going through the motions. Maybe they're there because a judge told them to be. Maybe it's to keep peace at home. Whatever the reason, they’re not in it for themselves. They recite all the right lines, nod in the right places—but anyone with real time in the program can spot the disconnect a mile away.

People ask me why I bother.
“Why waste your time with someone who’s clearly not serious?”

My response is simple:
Any recovery—no matter how little—is better than none. Every time.

Just like with self-defense, even the smallest exposure to the program might plant a seed. You never know what will stick. You never know what moment might turn the tide.

And that chance—however small—is always worth the effort.