What happened: I stopped at a local gas station to top of a rental truck that I was returning (I only needed to put $10 in the tank). I pulled up, waved my credit card in front of the "touchless sensor," the pump turned on, I started pumping.
Next thing I knew, an employee stormed out of the minimart, marched up to my vehicle, and began SCREAMING at me, accusing me of stealing gas from the woman who's car was parked three pumps away from mine.
"Whoa, whoa... what?" I responded. "I don't understand..."
"THAT'S HER PUMP!" He spat back. "YOU KNEW IT AND YOU'RE A THIEF!"
The misunderstanding: Apparently the woman decided to switch pumps, went inside, and put $20 on my pump. The genius (and I use the term sarcastically) employee didn't bother to check if the pump was free and turned it on at the exact moment that I waved my card in front of the reader.
Honest misunderstanding.
Rather than exercise common sense and decorum, this guy bolted out to the pumps and began slinging accusations and threats. He called me a thief, demanded that I pay her $20 (even though I only used $10), and threatened to call the police.
Immediately, I recognized what was going on. Calmly, I attempted to explain what had happened, thinking (erroneously) that the whole thing could be worked out via rational dialogue. But the calmer my demeanor, the more aggressive he grew.
It became clear to me, all at once, that this idiot only understood the language of aggression. So I got aggressive.
I snapped and began heaving expletives upon this man the likes of which he had never experienced, as witnessed by his immediate change in demeanor. He was no longer advancing, but retreating back into the safety of his minimart, as a troll to its cave (as bullies are like to do).
I pursued, whipping a twenty dollar bill out of my wallet and slamming it onto the counter in front of him, "Break this so I can pay that woman the $10 I owe her, ya @&%# idiot!"
He scrambled for change in his register and sent me on my way, lobbing more insults over my should as I left. I paid the lady, apologized for the misunderstanding, and drove off.
Yes, I could have maintained my cool. I could have waved him off and walked away. I didn't. I snapped.
I know what you're thinking, "Um... Guy... where's the progress?"
Valid question. Actually, there was all kinds of "progress" there... you just have to know where to look.
See, back in the day, there would have been no attempts at decorum, no "calm explanations." Back in the day, I would have immediately climbed down that dude's throat, put hands on him, and gone to jail.
BUT...
I tried to reason with him (for what felt like an inordinate amount of time) and I didn't lay a hand on him! You know what that's called?
PROGRESS!
I don't have to be perfect. I just have TRY to be a little bit better today than I was yesterday. That's it!
Progress... not perfection.